Author : Joe Navarro,Marvin Karlins
Category : Relationships,Interpersonal Relations,Subjects,Self-Help
Formats : Hardcover,Paperback,Kindle Edition,Audible Audiobook
Languages : English
Pages : 273
Price : Check Price in Amazon
PublishDate : 2009-10-13
ReleaseDate : 2009-10-13
Books Floor Rating
Book Summary & Description
For me these include things like reading body language, eye contact, determining if something is literal or figurative, etc. While I do understand body language, It doesnt always come naturally to me – I might miss seemingly obvious things like someone doing the Come here motion with their hand, Someone needing me to get something for them thats behind me and pointing at it (but without verbally saying it), etc. A book like this is incredibly valuable to me, since it shows me what the body language looks like and what it means or may mean. Since I dont always recognize these things, even moreso than most people – This book is worth its weight in gold to me. For me these include things like reading body language, eye contact, determining if something is literal or figurative, etc.
A book like this is incredibly valuable to me, since it shows me what the body language looks like and what it means or may mean. Since I dont always recognize these things, even moreso than most people – This book is worth its weight in gold to me. The only warning I have for people, beware the literal power this book possesses. If you read it a section at a time and then look for that item, you will start to see how much people actually lie in general conversation. If you are a people watcher, this book will provide insight light years beyond what you think you understand. It also can help people who are a bit socially ackward with feeling comfortable around people they do not know. I will now look at everybody in a different way, and try not to be creepy when I pay attention to their body language, haha.
One thing I realized for writing body language in fiction, is that even though we can see gestures in detail in real life, we may not necessarily describe these gestures with so much precision in our books: one, because readers might not understand what it means or they might even misunderstand; two, when we interpret someones facial expression, we may jump to the emotion without consciously processing what physical gestures expressed that emotion. The only reason why I took off 0. 1 stars, was because I was led to believe by a certain paragraph in the book that we would see a chapter on peoples idiosyncratic, personal bodily gestures. We also take a generalized wide field view of their body language. We OBSERVE things like people rubbing their sweaty palms on their thighs or tapping their toes, or licking their lips, but those we just see without thinking about.
The impact this book has had a dramatic impact on the way I view human interactions. Before reading this book, I scarcely understood body language and non-verbal communication; now, thanks to this brilliant work by Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins, I understand why some people seem more confident than others when they speak, how adopting different techniques can allow one to become more persuasive when speaking, what to look for when attempting to detect deception, etc. This book is more than a just a work of non-fiction: it is a guide to help you understand how non-verbal communication effects human interactions.
I will be referring back to this book many times in the future, as the wealth of knowledge that is explicated throughout this work is so valuable that it necessitates consistent review and contemplation. Plus, the book is written a way that makes it immediately accessible even to those who do little reading, so I wont have to worry about becoming confused by vague language when referring back to a specific page or technique. I loved reading this book, and I find myself continuously enjoying it whenever I refer back to it to help clarify any uncertainty I may have after interacting with another person. Whether you want to better understand what your significant other is thinking or feeling, what to do to come across as more friendly and inviting to strangers, or simply improve your non-verbal intelligence, this book will surely help you do all of that and more.
The author is clearly capable, and a kind and thoughtful person, but his writing skills are too didactic for my taste. Every detail of body language from your hands and arms and feet and torso and eyes and facial expressions and . . . . . . in fact every part of the body is covered. If you want to know all the details of what every body part is saying when you move this way or that, read this book, but I suggest you read it slowly, chapter by chapter with perhaps another book in between. I feel like a creep giving it only two stars but for me the book just felt OK. ***2 grade school level stars***I’m not giving this book two stars because it was bad. The book has a lot of interesting tuff about body language. . . For a grade schooler!This book should’ve been called “Body Language For Dummies”I’ve always been fascinated by body language, being able to see what people aren’t telling.
When I saw that on the book cover it said “An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People”, I thought the author is going to give us examples from his days in FBI. Unfortunately, most of the situations he used were from his encounters with his family, from his seminars and just general descriptions of a body language. For exampe:Or to see a picture of a person squinting, to understand that a person you are talking to/with thinks that you are full off it. That’s what I mean by “grade school knowledge of body language”. On the book cover it says that this book is an “international bestseller”, I don’t get why. I would’ve preferred if he, the author, had invited a couple of volunteers for an interview, with a purpose of reading and capturing their body responses to his questions, since he can’t use the material from his days in FBI.
A person might not be able to control their body language, but choosing clothes depends on few different factors, such as money, mood and/or taste (which is constantly changing). Author trying to give an advice on how to dress to appeal (or not) too certain groups of people is quite funny and useless. Also consider that although you may deliberately want to use your attire to send a signal to one person or a group of people at a specific time and place, you may have to pass a lot of other people who are not as receptive to your message along the way! “It felt like the author was simply trying to fill up the book space. Funny thing: as I was writing this review, I had the book beside my Mac, for quotes, and noticed one funny thing about the book cover.
But, if you put your ankle on your knee, it says that you are trying to create a barrier between you and a person you’re talking to/with. Although on the cover the author’s arms are wide open, shoulders down, head to the side, feet are directed at the one looking at the cover, and it gives you the vibe that you are welcome to have a friendly chat with him, his ankle is on his knee. This made me think that although he wants to look like he is confidant, relaxed and open, the ankle on the knee indicates that he is creating a protective barrier between him and a reader. I can’t help but think that after all the “secrets” he revealed, tips that he gave on how to read people, he himself, subconsciously chose a picture to be used on the book cover, which revealed him being insecure about his own work?
So you see, while body language is telling you must also add other important clues up to come to a conclusion. Some people get nervous anyway when being accused of lying and may exhibit nervous actions. Sure, not everyone would be easy to read but since reading this book I have been noticing more what certain body language is saying, and honestly it tends to run on the side of true. I don’t know if the interpretations the book gives of different things are accurate or not – but by and large I don’t care; the real value for me was not in knowing *what* things mean, but in developing a vocabulary with which to *think* about how people place themselves. Let me tell you something, even though this book is such a great eye opening book for having more successful conversations with ppl whom you don’t know, it can take away your peace.
I know how hard it is to detect deception and I expected that this book was going to tell me 50 ways to spot a liar from various tells. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the author had a good grounding of the science behind body language and tons of field work (unlike the TSA, who with 15 minutes of training, can spot a terrorist just by looking at them). What the book does do is give you dozens and dozens of clues as to how a person is feeling at any given time. If what they are saying does not match their body language, this can be a tip that the person is being deceptive. Usually, all we can discover from these clues is that the person being observed is enduring stress, or happiness, fear, or some other emotion that might be missing from verbal communication.
Since reading it, I’ve watched for some clues mentioned in the book in my personal relationships and found that. . . 1) they are really hard to observe without being noticed as looking for them. . . and 2) once observed, you need a lookup table to remember what they mean. Overall, I give the book high marks due to the professional nature of the writing and the admission that lie detection is in fact nearly impossible despite non-verbal clues and that might indicate the possibility of deception. For my own purposes, I think I’ll re-read this book in a few months to bolster what I have learned. I imagine that understanding these non-verbal gestures could go a long way to aiding my personal communications for the rest of my life. I recommend the hard copy vs ereader however, because you get pictures in the actual book.
Insightful read if that kind of thing interests you, but particularly useful as an author to describe a scene. To explain why this book wasn’t really what I was hoping for, it would help to explain what I was hoping for: I am mildly autistic, and I have difficulty picking up on nonverbal social cues, particularly in informal environments like casual conversation, friendship, and dating. He is a former FBI interrogator, and so his perspective on nonverbal behavior is focused around issues of dominance and submission, territory, anxiety, deception. I’m sure I am doing this without being aware of it, and I would like to stopbut while Navarro talks about recognizing the signals, he doesn’t talk about controlling them, and for the most part seems to think that control is difficult or impossible.
Which is funny, since my instinct was defensiveness every time I came across a picture of Navarro in his baggy suit and cold, piercing eyes. Still, there’s a good deal to glean from this book, both in how to conduct oneself in a formal, conservative setting, as well as how to read people in social atmospheres. Once you start reading this, you’ll adopt a somewhat overwhelming self-awareness, as well as a tendency to study the people around you. Everyone is familiar with the concept of body language as expressed by simplistic, quasi-scientific rules such as these. One of the things I liked most about Navarro’s book is that it eschews basic X means Y type formulations and attempts to locate the art of reading body language in a broader, richer context that any matter relating to the highly complex matter of human psychology clearly deserves.
Navarro appears decidedly well versed in the academic literature of his field, the text is well referenced and the list of further reading is extensive. Before we move through a survey of the different types of ‘language’ each part the body may be ‘speaking’ it is worthwhile to highlight a few general points Navarro is a pains to make plain. Given this background, Navarro suggests we must begin by observing what a persons normal, comfortable behaviour looks like; establishing a control. A large part of this is asking neutral questions, in a neutral tone whilst using neutral body language yourself. One of the things that made me feel that there might be some truth to the claims made in this book was the fact that I began to notice that I was exhibiting some of the traits identified in exactly the kind of situations described without realising it!
Alongside this, one should try to notice if there is synchrony between verbal and non-verbal behaviour. For example, if a person is saying they really like someone but all their body language is saying the polar opposite. When someone is making a strongly declarative statement to which they should be passionately committed, like “you have to believe me I didn’t do it”, you should look for a similarly emphatic display from the body. Isopraxism, or mirroring behaviour, is a very strong sign of comfort as is leaning in or angling of the torso towards your conversational partner. Nasal dilation or flaring of the nostrils is a preparation for action as it allows more oxygen to be taken into the muscles – this can mean persons limbic brain (animal part of the brain associated with non-verbal, unconscious movements as opposed to the neo-cortex which is associated with speech &c. )
Best Book Quote
You canât enjoy art or books in a hurry.
Flight is rarely physical with humans today and is usually expressed as blocking like putting one’s hands over one’s face, closing eyes, rubbing eyes, placing something in one’s lap or in front of themselves, leaning away, turning feet to the exit or placing one’s heel down with the toes up like they’re about to start a race. Associated physical behaviour may be puffing out one’s chest, making oneself bigger, invading other’s space and using verbal abuseWhen feeling uncomfortable, stressed or insecure about a question or topic of discussion people will often use pacifying movements to offset these feelings. Examples include touching, especially the neck but can be face and legs too, or stroking, rubbing cheeks and lips from the inside with the tongue, exhaling slowly with puffed out cheeks, chewing gum faster, smoking more.
Other signs associated with this type of behaviour are massaging earlobes, licking lips, stroking thighs with palms down, ventilating neck by moving collar or tossing hair Feet and legs tell us the most from a body language perspective and this may be because of their importance in hunting behaviourJiggly, bouncing or swinging feet can be associated with elation but can also be impatience or restlessness so it is important to look for groupings, synchrony and emphasis alongside thisOrdinarily people talk toe to toe so if one person has L-shaped feet or their feet point away from the person towards the door this can mean they want to leaveBoth hands on knees, usually with a move forward or a lean, means that the person wants to leaveBouncing on balls of feet, standing on tip toes and pointing one foot to the ceiling when sitting are associated with happiness or receiving good news
Crossed legs is a sign of comfort and confidence and may point in the direction of the person most favoured. Crossing away, forming a barrier with the upper leg, is a negative behaviour whereas crossing towards, pointing to the other person with the upper knee, is a positive signJiggling feet is quite a neutral behaviour but can turn to kicking or freezing when questions / topics become unpleasant or stressfulAttempts to lock ankles, especially for men as many women wearing skirts do it anyway, or hide feet behind chair legs or under the chair are defensive postureHands up when making statements mean, ‘please, I beg you to believe me’ whereas hands down is a much more assertive behaviour. People who dislike each other will only turn towards each other with their heads when seated in the back seat of a car
Rising shoulder and lowering of neck are an attempt to hide and are associated with negative thoughts and moodsArm waving is a sign of elation whereas sinking arms are a sign that things are going against us – this is very visible in sportCrossed arms, especially restrained arms where the hand grips the bicep, and freezing of arm movement can be a sign of anxiety and attempts not to be noticed. When people are doing something they shouldn’t like stealing they also tend to restrict arm movement and look around a lot more than usual. In meetings when people spread out their arms and papers it is a show of power and confidence whereas people wishing to go unnoticed or with low confidence will often keep their hands in their laps and their elbows below their waist
Hands interlaced behind the head means I’m in charge and is also indicative of confidence or dominanceCloseness of hands and arms when sitting face to face with someone indicates comfort and confidence and vice-versaPeople like to be able to see hands when you are talking as it engenders trust, use them to express what you’re talking aboutShaking hands can indicate both joy and stress and can also result from Parkinson’s, injuries and alcoholism so this sign needs to be understood in contextSteepling is a high confidence indicator whereas interlocking and wringing is associated with stress or concern. Pointing of the thumbs upwards, when grabbing lapels or collars, is a high confidence sign as is sticking hands in pockets with thumbs sticking out. Equally disappearance of thumbs and hiding them is a low confidence behaviour
Unpleasant or negative emotions cause tension and result in clenched jaw, flared nostrils, fixed eyes, rigid, un-tilting head position, pursed lips and disappearing or squinting eyes, quivering lips, furrow lines on the forehead. Dilated pupils are associated with positive emotions and surprise whereas constricted pupils are usually associated with negative emotions as the eyes are trying to bring things into sharper focus because of a perceived danger or unpleasantnessRaised eyebrows are a gravity defying behaviour associated with confidence and happiness whereas lowered brows are associated with negative thoughts Hands in front of the eyes, touching the eyes or delayed opening and tight clenching shut are all associated with blocking negative or unwelcome thoughtsPeople look away to clarify thoughts without the distraction of a person’s face so this is neutral
A real smile usually involves upward movement of the mouth as well as broadening and involves the eyesSneers indicate an attitude of, ‘I know more than you do’ and a disrespect for the knowledge or assessment of the other personFaces associated with bad tastes or unpleasant food like mini snarls and nose crinkles indicate displeasure and can be very fleetingly displayedHaving completed this brief survey of some of the main points, Navarro also suggests that if the signs are mixed then one should always side with the negative indicator as negative feelings are expressed more strongly than positive. He also suggests that if one has trouble interpreting a certain behaviour then a useful approach is to do it oneself and see how it makes you feel.
It’s unclear when the reader should interrupt a sentence to read them, as they sometimes appear, or whether we should wait until the end of the book to review them as a distinct collection of narratives!The pictorial representations makes it easy to read even not-so avid readers could just take a couple of days or so to complete the entire book. Yet, in the end you feel as though you have achieved and understood the non-verbal behaviour with a better view of the world around you – able to see most of what we take for granted in everyday life. In the book, Navarro demonstrates several types of body languages in pictorial format and then correlates those postures with real-life FBI past experience making his arguments even more convincing.
Despite the fact that this book is well recognised in many circles, it is worth noting that some issues discussed are complex due to the fuzzy nature of the topics and lacks proper scientific evidence. Navarro splits the non-verbal behaviours into two categories on the basis of human-consciousness – those controlled by the neocortex [conscious] and the limbic part of our brain [sub-conscious]. Most of Navarro’s illustrations in this book are based around the limbic part of the brain, which has no control of the human brain. The genius of this book doesn’t lie in its pages, but in how it modifies your behavior in every day life.
Much helpful, and realistic information is presented here about reading body language and non-verbals. I was probably fascinated by it before then, especially when I was a baby and had to rely on gestures to understand how people were feeling, but this is the first time that I have been consciously fascinated by non-verbal behavior. I didn’t read the whole book straight-through, instead choosing to read a chapter at a time, in the order of what interested me the most. After I purchased this book and had read several chapters, my family and I traveled to D. C. We spent a lot of time on the Metro over the course of the trip, and putting my new-found skills to use, I attempted to read the body language of everyone on the metro. This led to some interesting discoveries, and I was amazed at how easy it is to “read” people on a basic level.
The book has great insights into body language and nonverbal communication. I was going to give it 3 stars because I didn’t like the writing, it seemed very repetitive and at sometimes boring, but I changed my mind to 4 stars because, as this was my 1st read into body language, it had a lot of new info to me. Had I read another body language book before this, my opinion would probably have been different. – establish a baseline of the person’s behavior before you attempt to read him/her. – it is the ‘change’ in body language to which we must pay attention rather than there mere signs. – The body language of deceitful people are normally not in sync with what they’re saying. Former FBI agent Joe Navarro writes clearly,gives many anecdotes and pictures describing truthful and lying behaviors.
Perhaps, but I’ve read plenty of academic journals and many of them are more fun to read than this book. I mean, I thought the contents were interesting (even if everything I read wasn’t new to me), however, the writing itself was mediocre and kind of boring. I read something similar twenty or so years ago and since then developed my own (non professional as it’s just like a hobby to crack the minds of others) “mind reading” style. * Pretty basic, because to make conclusions from just some expressions is a fake and wouldn’t lead to real understanding of people. With enough experience, testing or intuition (more exactly, NF) – that’s easy to “read” thoughts of the majority. Doesn’t work for some people, who have exceptional ability to fake or mask expressions, or rather (as it’s almost impossible to fake micro-expressions), in cases, when you don’t give enough of the attention.
Basically, because most (talking) people are talking by some reason and that reason almost always is their weakness. ** Here’s one of such mappings: http://atlasofemotions. org/ (there are better, as this one doesn’t show full relationships), it’s pretty easy to use – like, if subject A “avoids” (that comes with various wordings), then it really means – “dislikes”, some “event” (basically, pain or fear, which is also from pain) led him/her to this, and if the “event” will continue, then A would most probably “withdraw”. b) avoid personal hits, because you can be any person (i. e. really dynamic) at any time. Over years I’ve come to one realization, some changes can’t come without some force, aggressive people understand only force and knowledge about deeper human motives can create more lasting force.
As a “consequence”, people give their full attention only to 3-theme-model: sex, food and danger. Most “natural events” come in normal distributions, so any extreme “is” pointing to some extreme “event” in such distribution as true is most probably the anomalous (to state as truth) and wrong – a “religion”. Book has some mentions of jumping to conclusions, but those are not enough, we tend to rush for conclusions and because of that we’re not good mind “readers”. 2-Or taking your first impression of a person by the way he moves his hand or leg or even his head. . The book also introduces a lot of methods to reveal the worried people, frightened ones and those who hide behind a mask of fake feelings
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